The Christmas Album That Never Was

“I’m tired dude, can’t we do a Christmas album next month?”

“Yes Nick because the fans will definitely want one to come out in Feburary.” Kevin replied, giving the youngest member a look as they walked into the recording studio. Kevin actually had to go pick Nick up to make sure he wouldn’t be late, forget it completely, or just play hooky. He sighed, sometimes that kid was going to be the end of him. They entered to see the other three members of the group already waiting for them impatiently.

Brian immediately began wrestling with the other blonde playfully. Kevin rolled his eyes. AJ nudged Howie. “I put 50 on Rok.”

Howie chuckled with a shake of his head. “Nick’s gotten to be a giant, he’ll pin Brian down.”

The two scuffled for a bit before Kevin reached in, and simply yanked Brian out with a stern look. “If you two are done…” Though he too was hiding a grin at the goofballs.

“So what song are we starting with?” Brian asked as he brushed himself off.

“Dude, we totally should have made our own songs.”

“How about Felitz NaviDad?”

“Nah man, lets do Grandma Got Ran Over. My Gram loves that song.”

“Actually fellas, lets start with the classics. Like Twelve Days of Christmas.”

After they had everything set up, and they were ready to go, the five entered the recording booth, ready to lay down their smooth vocal harmonies on to the classic tracks of Christmas. Nick however, grumbled because he hated this song, It took way too long to sing. And they were supposed to be on their break anyway. This whole idea had been orcestrated by Kevin, and approved by The Firm, if they were able to get it done. He smirked as an idea formed. Kevin started off.

“On the first day of Christmas…my true love sent to me…”

“A sweater infested with fleas!”

“Nick knock it off!”

“I’m just kidding Kev.”

“Can we start again?”

“On the first day of Christmas…my true love sent to me…”

“A partridge in a pear tree…”

“On the second day of Christmas…my true love sent to me…”

“Two giant bugs”

“And a sweater infested with fleas!”

The two blondes could both be heard snickering as Kevin signaled for the man running the board to cut the record for a moment. AJ was trying to keep a straight face, as was Howie. Sure it was unprofessional, but it was snickering worthy, as immature as it was. “Now are y’all gonna take this seriously?”

“Yes Kevin.” The two answered like scolded children, which in a sense they were at the moment.

Over all, the song finally began to go well, with no problems at all. Kevin figured they’d actually be able to do this, as a gift to the fans. Even though it did mean sacrificing a chunk of their scheduled break, and he knew that was why the guys were a bit grumpy. Still, over all they were taking it better than he thought they would. That was, till they hit the last stanza, the twelveth gift,

“On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me”

“Twelve truckers cussing” Kevin stared at Howie, he had relied on him to be the mature one.

“Eleven pimps a’ pimping,” AJ chimed in,

“Ten bums a’ begging,” Nick sang between laughs.

“Nine drunks drinking,” Brian couldn’t help but add.

“Eight maids a-moaning,”

“What are you guys doing?!”

“Seven fans a-screaming,”

“Six girls for-laying,”

“AJ! Come on now…”

“Five stolen things!” The other four sang beautifully together.

“This has gotten ridiculous y’all…”

“Four reeking turds”,

“Three French men”,

“Oh forget it, I give up…”

“Two giant bugs”,

“And a sweater infested with fleas! “

“Hey I like that, we should keep that on the holiday album.” AJ joked, ignoring the dirty look that followed.

“Okay, let’s try another song.”

Howie whispered something into Nick’s ear and his eyes brightened. “Like Homicidal St. Nick? Or Rudolph the Headless Reindeer?”

“Ooh we can make the sound effects for Grandma Got Ran Over By A Reindeer?”

“You all are acting crazy. This is the last time I’m going to try this with y’all.”

“Does this mean we can enjoy our break now?” His cousin asked, batting his eyes playfully.

“Don’t you guys want to give our fans something extra?”

“How about next year man?” Nick pleaded.

“Yeah, yeah I give up.”

“YES!” The others cheered, and all immediately raced for the door.

Kevin just watched them go. “Never again…” he muttered with laugh despite himself. “Not going to try THAT again.”

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