I’m here at Nick’s door, freezing, and questioning my decision to even come here. Should I have gone home first? Back to the pressure and my best friend who had betrayed me? Maybe I should have gone to Brian’s first. I knew I’d be safe and even protected there. Yet my heart had said Nick’s apartment first. For once I listened to my heart and not my mind. Was I wrong? I shivered. Jeeze you get cold easy when you’ve been walking in pouring rain for the past…I think it was an hour? I felt him put his arms around me and lead me inside. I glanced up at him shyly. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea.
“Sorry for barging in on you like this-ACHOO!” Ack, no getting sick.
He shook his head, looking concerned even after all the stuff I made him deal with. “Cally Baby, we need to get you changed, dry.”
“Um I don’t have any clothes…”
He just gave me a warm smile. One that told me I did make the right decision in coming here first. I hope so anyway. “I have some clothes you can wear, just pull whatever looks comfy from my closet.”
I dropped my bag by the couch and followed him to his bedroom. Here there were a couple more photos, one with what had to be his siblings. Some looked too much like him not to. I didn’t say anything. A couple awards were in here, a Grammy even, and an American Music Award. He’s made the rounds; I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s been like to live his life. Trust me, I’ve tried to already.
Nick glanced at me. “Come out when you’re changed, I don’t want ya all sick. Go ahead and put your wet clothes in the dryer.”
He left the room, shutting the door behind him to give me privacy. It felt so odd, being in his bedroom. I grabbed a pair of jersey type pants, and a random shirt that said “I’m Naked Under Here”. Only Nick right? I changed, putting my clothes in the dryer. I just hoped the shirt was baggy enough since I had no bra, because of course that was soaked too. I made my way out and onto the couch, where Nick was sitting; I pushed my wet hair out of my eyes. I knew I was a mess. It was hard to ignore it but I was trying to. Then, I asked it since really I didn’t deserve this, I felt anyway.
“Why are you still being so nice to me?”
He shrugged, giving me a weird look. “Cause I don’t want you getting sick?”
I let my own line of vision shift to the floor. “Thanks.”
He tilted my chin up so I couldn’t escape those darn ocean eyes he had. “So, I know you ain’t here to try and sell me some girlie scout cookies. What’s up?”
I shrugged, just where would I start? “Look about us-”
He put a finger to my lips, stopping me. Looking up I watched him curiously. “Something’s bugging you Cally, and it’s more than just me. So tell me what’s got you so upset?”
That right there is what got me. He saw immediately I had a lot on my mind. No one ever noticed that unless I was so freaked you had to be blind not to see it. That’s what I sounded like when I had first called Teddy and left that message. What is it about Nick? Why is it he can actually just see me? Make me feel the way I do when I’m with him? I couldn’t comprehend any of it. Yet that was why I came here. I felt the story leave my lips with such total ease as his arms found their way wrapped around me. It felt so soothing; I laid my head on his shoulder, continuing to tell him.
“I’m just so tired Nick, of trying to be what I’m not. Tried of being controlled you know? So I told them that…” She gave this cute sheepish look. “Maybe not in the nicest way, but it felt like they earned it. Then I well…”
I kept her close, we were basically cuddling. Typically heh, in the past I admit I used to make a move then. Try to get some. But not with Cally. Never with her. With her, I couldn’t even fucking think of trying to take advantage of her. The slow thing is hella new to me, but hell, I think I’m willing to give it a go with her. If ever get to that damn point.
I gave her a smile, she needed to get it out, I could tell. “Go ahead, can’t be TOO bad…”
She smirked, making me think I could be wrong. “Then I grabbed a few things” Cally pointed to the bag, wiping her glasses off after. “And stole Sebastian’s car.”
I started laughing wildly. I couldn’t help it. Bastard had his car taken. Serves him right for purposely getting Cally into a bigger mess just because she wanted to hell just be friends with me. Serves him right for hitting my ass. Let me say, managers weren‘t happy about me sporting a black eye either. Serves the fucker right. “You stole a car?! Damn didn’t know you had that in ya,” Next thing I feel is a pillow whacking me upside the head.
“Shush, I was upset…” She grinned though, letting me know she found it funny now too. “I slept in it, then spent the day figuring my ish out. Then got out, locked the keys inside, called him to tell him where it is and that I hope he has another key…” Resist the urge to snicker.
“And you came to me?”
“Yeah, I came here to you.”
I took in a deep breath of air. Interesting shit. I ain’t much for a companion so why did she come to me? No one’s trusted me enough, heh outside the fellas. And we don’t do this sappy type shit, though I didn’t mind Cally coming here. I was happy she had, I just couldn’t understand any of the reasoning is all. “Why?”
She hadn’t moved from where she was against me, and didn’t now. “Because, it felt right. I was scared to actually. You scare the hell out of me Nick…”
At that I glance down at her, stroking her hair. Holy shit, I had just realized I was doing that. I kept doing it; I think it kept her calm. “I’m a lot of things, never thought scary was one of them.”
Much to my freaking disappointment, she sat up then, pulling away a bit. Great. Every damn time she pulls away we fight or something else happens. Get ready for it. I ran a hand through my hair, I was pretty damn tired. I couldn’t take my eyes off this girl though. This girl who turned my screwed up world upside down from that first time I talked to her.
“You’re scary in the sense that…well you see me. Th-the way you treat me…make me feel…I-gah I just never had that before. It scared me. So…I tried to run. I’m good at that. I-I’m not one for change…and you were a big one. I was just, just so freaked. I didn’t want to be hurt…”
“I’d never hurt y-”
“Maybe not you, but what about your career?”
Well fuck, she had me there. I couldn’t say anything, cause hell she was right. My job could crucify her with not a bit of remorse. She and I saw what a friendly outing to The Grove can do. Dating would be another story. Its times like this I hate my damn fame. It ruins everything. Every-fucking-thing.
“So I ran…” She continued, I think she saw I couldn’t argue that. “And to my shock, you chased.” She gave me a soft, but gorgeous as hell smile, and ironic one though.
That was when I spoke up. Be a man now Carter. “Couldn’t let you get away.” I ain’t one for honest feelings but I think that’s my one fucking chance here.
“That was why I kissed Sebastian.” She turned away from me as I stood. Facing the wall, Cally continued. “Because you chased. You cared enough to chase. I left last night, after fighting with my parents, with Sebastian, but they didn’t chase. They haven’t even called; I had to call him to tell him where I left his car. You did when I left your apartment. It was new, and so I thought kissing him would get you to stop.” She paused, giving us both a moment to get our shit together mentally. “I saw your face when I did it, and it hurt more than I thought it would. Still, you didn’t stop. You went to my house even. You…I just don’t get what you saw but it scares me. Your life scares me.”
“Then why are you here tonight?”
Giving a sigh, she stared out the window. “Because that’s where my heart told me to go. Gah I sound like one of those cheesy chick flicks. It’s true though…”
I came up behind her, my arms going around her to hug her from behind. “Maybe because you knew I’d care?”
She just nodded. “Yeah, because I knew you’d care. It‘s freaky as heck, and I have no clue how to handle any of it. But, I think I want to. You‘re just…everything my world is supposed to not be.”
At that, I can’t help but give a slight chuckle. Really, ironic as hell if anyone’s been paying attention. How could she say that about me? Of all people. Cally tilted her head back to look at me, a few stray drops of water hitting my cheeks from her very wet hair. “What?”
I just shook my head. “It’s just hella funny…cause that’s exactly how I described you.”
As she turned and I began to kiss her once more, everything felt fucking right for once. Taking her in, the feel of her skin as my hands went down her arms, the taste of her lips again. Just, everything this girl is. Unbelievable how life happened sometimes. Un-fucking-believable.
I stayed at Nick’s that night. Nothing happened…don’t think that way. Um yeah, first real…well I don’t know what it is. Still, yeah, nowhere near close to that. I slept on his bed but only cause he’s more stubborn than me and insisted, and he stayed on his couch. Really sweet but not as necessary. I felt like I was being a burden, though he told me over and over I wasn’t. I have no idea what I’m doing. I just know I’m listening to myself for once. I stretched a bit, climbing out of the bed. Nick’s clothes did smell like him and his Drakken cologne. Which I only know cause I saw it in his bathroom. I made my way towards the kitchen, yeah this feels familiar. There I saw Nick, oh wow…
Nick was actually attempting to cook. I say attempting because I can see the smoke and can smell the burned food. Eek, how do I avoid eating this while showing that this was a sweet idea? I covered my mouth to try to stifle the giggles that were still escaping. Nick actually had some weird ragged apron on and was trying very hard to get the food to not burn. I don’t think he’s noticed me yet.
“Dammit! You fucking food! Fucking hell, this why I never cook. God dammit! Ow that fucking burned! You evil mean ass food! I should have Brian play exorcist to make sure this shit isn’t all possessed. Dammit! Don’t get on fire! Stupid damn food! Listen to me! Fuck!” That was when Nick saw me, because he froze, mid fire fighting role. I had pure laughs coming out now. He pouted as he got the little fire to go out and threw the food out. “I was trying to be nice. Stupid evil ass food.”
I kept giggling, it was so cute. “Let’s just, go out and get some food. Cause I can’t cook either. A for effort?” I felt my phone vibrate. Let it, I’ll get it later. I saw him raise a brow at me.
“You want to go out to eat?”
“Somewhere simple, where stalkers won’t think to look. Like Denny’s.”
“Aight Cally Baby, did you wanna borrow more clothes.”
I just beamed, I felt pretty content about it all even though nothing has been fixed yet. “That’d be good.”
“I can’t believe no one’s spotted me.” I tell her, munching on some pancakes. I actually had the cap and sunglasses on to try and hide myself. I have no idea what the fuck we are. We didn’t talk that far last night. I hugged her; she said how she was tired. I made her sleep in my bed and my ass went to the couch. I actually acted like a damn gentleman; I didn’t know I had it in me. I blame Kevin and Brian. Damn Kentuckians.
“I thought like a fan would.” She replied in her shy yet easygoing way. She was having French toast. Glad to have a girl actually eat and not just pick at her leaf that she was calling a salad. Cally was natural, real. She came here in a pair of my jeans another one of my shirts. It made us both snicker when she saw herself in the mirror with a shirt that said and I bet she picked it just to be a smart ass. A cute smart ass, but one anyway. It said Define Girlfriend on it and the irony was just amusing. I haven’t worn that shirt in a long ass time. I forgot about it. Her wearing it cracked me up. Glad to know she has a sense of humor.
“What do you mean?” I need to eat normal more, heh I do more than most celebrities but damn I forgot how bomb ass Denny’s can be.
“When I was in high school, and even after, sometimes people I knew wanted to go celeb hunting. They think of glitzy hotels, boutiques, fancy restaurants. No one thinks of Denny’s or IHoP or places like that. I’m hoping those paparazzi think like that too. I don’t want pictures of like…of well um a date getting all over the net.”
“Is that what this is Cally Baby, a date?”
That’s when her tone got softer, less sure of herself. “Um, I dunno. That kinda came out. I just, I dunno… I’d lie and be trying to run away if I said I didn’t like you, a ton. A lot. Way more than friend level. It’s just gah; your world scares me, like I said last night.”
I nodded, gazing at her. “I’ll leave it up to you what we are.” Heh, that’s a first for me. I’m all about no labels and some what a sense of control. Typically anyway. Everything was different with Cally I’ve noticed. I guess that’s what makes her so damn fascinating. This free spirit trapped in some weird ass world of conformity took me in and changed it all.
“I live in this crazy ass world, and you know it Cally. I ain’t gonna force you into it.”
I can’t believe he is leaving it up to me. Holy Lordie. Bezel my jezels. Nick, it felt good to kiss him. I loved just sitting and talking with him. I’d actually love to paint him sometime and see if I can capture his spirit on paper. It was time to make my first choice, and I’m not shocked Nick is the first to offer it with no pressure. To do it my way without having someone trying to force me to go another way. And I didn’t even have to think about it long. The answer was simple.
“I think…maybe…I think we’re dating, taking it slow, but dating. Um, if that’s okay.”
He grinned, full on grinned. No wonder he breaks fans hearts so often by not dating them. I have no idea if I’m making the right decision; I’m horrible at them according to many. But I think this is right. “It fits fucking perfectly.” He stood, pulling me out of the booth with him. Abandoning the yummy French toast. I would have pouted had he not swung me a little playfully before kissing me with more passion than I knew people could have. I’m new at this remember? It was just, well perfect. I just had to face my parents. But I knew I could. I can handle it all now. Don’t know how I knew it, but I did.
It’s funny how life happens sometimes.