I just did what I think I did right? You know, kissed another girl, cheated on my girl, leading my friend on. I did that didn’t I? Or am I dreaming it.
And now she’s staring at me in shock with those damn baby blues of hers. That helped get me into this. Right. I ain’t imagining it?
This was wrong, knew it upfront. Don’t know why I did it. Lying again. Actually, I did know. Now if anyone heard this, they’d think I’m a huge ass. I wanted to. Don’t know why, maybe because Cally was different than my own world. Refreshing. Maybe cause Trace pissed me off when she slapped me. Or cause it felt so easy to talk to her and I kinda slipped into it. I ain’t sure. I ain’t sure what to do now either. Apologize? I ain’t sorry. Break up with Trace? I’m not sure if I wanna do that either. Date Cally? No.
I glance over at her sitting before me. She was turning red a bit as she talked. Aw. “Yeah?”
“I can’t do this…”
I blinked. Okay, she’s deciding this? Holy Hell.
“I mean, you have a girlfriend, who you care about. I don’t want to be why you cheat on her. If you were I mean, and I know…I know that that was a mistake. I…so no worries, we can forget that happened.”
I stayed quiet. Did she just say what I think she said? Wow… I didn’t expect that. Aight I said I didn’t wanna date Cally too. But damn. I didn’t expect that out of her okay? For her to turn me down. Not that I was makin’ an offer. It gave me an out, which I admit, I kinda needed. So, I took it. I nodded. “Yeah…I’m sorry about that Cally. I didn’t mean to.” Lame. Hella lame.
She just nodded with a soft smile. “It’s okay, I know.”
I stood as she did as well, giving her a hug, feeling her body fit snugly against my own. I felt guilty aight? My nose took another long sniff of that mango smell. Wonder if it’s that Victoria secrets stuff that Tracy uses. Nah, Cally’s low key. “I’ll take off” I told her. I felt weird. Very weird.
“Sure, thanks again for the soup; it was pretty spiffy of you.”
“I’ll see ya?”
She grinned a bit, making me feel less guilty about the cheating and leading her on thing. “Yeah, you know the number.”
With that, I walked out the door. But I ain’t going to the hotel. I’m going to my apartment and getting away from women. Nothing but trouble I tell ya. Tomorrow, I’m doing what I should have done earlier. Forget the holy man’s advice.
I’m going to AJ.
Isabel ended up at my house that night. She stayed over when she and Sebastian came back. It was a fun night actually. Nice and all distract-y. While Sebastian was sleeping in the living room, we went off into the family room where he couldn’t hear us or wake up. I knew she’s been wanting to talk to me. She beamed, her russet eyes of her sparkling as her soft coffee locks fell about her sweet oval shaped face.
“So, how’d it go with Nick…?”
Now, should I tell her? I needed the advice, so yes, I should.
I took a breath in sharply. “Well…we hung out, I went to school, went to a recording session-”
“Oh my gawd! So did you hear any songs, what are the other 4 guys like? Did you-”
I laughed, grabbing her hand to stop her. “Iz, Iz, stop. I didn’t stay long, his girlfriend was there too and we had a not fun chatty chat. She told Brian I was sick, I played along-”
She looked at me like I was absolutely insane. Seriously. “Girl, now why did you let her win?”
Rolling my eyes I responded. “Well she is his girlfriend. You know I’m not one for drama…”
“But you SO like him! That’s the guy who you talked about before Sebby came to town right?”
“Yeah it was him-”
“So you do like him! I can‘t believe you actually could date a celebrity.” A very loud squeal escaped and I had to lunge over to cover her mouth so my overprotective sleeping like a bear friend wouldn’t wake up and hear.
“Shh! Anyway, he came over after y’all went out and brought soup since he thought I was sick.”
“Oooh Cally, did you tell him about what happened?”
At this I look away. I kind of wish I did now, but it might have gone worse had I done it. I don’t know. Really, I don’t. This whole thing is confusing as hell. And I just, well I know I don’t know. Does that make sense?
“No, but we talked…”
I saw her eyes blaze, my friend Iz, she’s got more fight than I do. What can I say? “You should have told him!”
Then, I blurted the rest of it out. Well this was the part that was confusing me! I needed an answer darn it! “He kissed me.”
Now, if you have ever seen a cartoon, which I am positive, you have… Have you ever seen when the cartoon character’s eyes bug out as something is about to happen or they’re shocked or love struck? I think they knew Izzy, because I swear the look on her face when I told her Nick kissed me looked EXACTLY like them.
“You…You kissed Nick Carter!?” She almost shouted until I had to cover her mouth again.
“Shh you’re gonna wake Devi.”
“You kissed him. You kissed him! Oh my gawd, you kissed Nick Carter, of Flames of Ice…do you know how big this is?!”
I roll my eyes at her excitement. Maybe it’s because I know Nick better now. But he’s just…Nick. Brian is just Brian. Guess it’s all about perspective. “It’s not big…just confusing. He kissed me, and well we-okay I, decided it was a mistake and he agreed and so we’re still friends.”
At this she grabbed my shoulders, shaking me back and forth. Laughing I flung a pillow at her to get her to finally quit it. Success! “You’re insane!”
“He has a girlfriend Iz; I’m not going to be why he cheats.”
“What if he dumped her?”
I shrugged then, my hands playing with the fabric of my pajama bottoms. I honestly had no idea if Tracy was out of the way. I mean I’m friends with him now, and look at the chaos. I know I just said he’s only Nick but, it’d be even crazier if I dated him. Not to mention my parents would pop a lobe just thinking of that idea. “I don’t know, I don’t think so.”
She smirked as she leaned back against the pillows, scratching her arm. “Then why are you confused?”
I blinked. Well that was a good question. “Because… well this was my first kiss…”
“And it was from NICK CARTER. So, how was it? Spill.”
I felt my cheeks grow warm. I had enjoyed it. It felt, I don’t know, electric? Right? Hard to find words, maybe cause I don’t have much experience. Gah. I knew I was getting bright red at this point. “It…it was nice.”
She squealed again, at least it was quieter this time. I couldn’t help but giggle at her. She was more excited than I was, and I was the one in this chaos. “So, you should totally nab him. Sebby ain’t gonna like this one bit, but hey, he had his chance.”
An eyebrow rose at her. What? “What do you mean?”
She shrugged. “He used to wanna date you when you were still both at Centennial high. Never said anything cause he thought you put him in a big bro role. I think he still does, but knows you still haven’t forgiven the New York thing. It explains the whole him not liking Nick at first sight thing.”
“Are you serious?” Ok, now, why didn’t I know this before? Would have made my life simpler. She is right about NYU, I keep trying to forgive it, yet I still have some angry feelings hidden about that.
“Yep…” She grinned again. “But you like Nick. So, you need to win him over.”
“I am not going to try and steal Nick!”
“Trust me; from the sounds of it, you won’t have to.”
I toss another pillow at her. Izzy, nice girl, great friend, but stubborn as heck and doesn’t take my hints. Lordie. “We’re friends, and nothing can change my mind on that.” So I said. I sounded convincing right? It’s like I wanted something I knew I shouldn’t have, shouldn’t try. So ignoring any semblance of my heart and it‘s thoughts, I listened to my mind. My very rational mind. Nick had a girlfriend. Nick had a crazy life. I was a simple girl who goes unnoticed by the world generally. So we’d be friends. Nothing more.
“Bro, you kissed her?”
I nodded as I flopped on the lay-z-boy Jay had in his living room. His house freaked me out. All the Goth style stuff. He had a damn confessional in his house. That’s not normal. AJ ain’t normal. The chair I was sitting in was one of the few normal things he had. His dinner table looks like it belongs in an episode of the Adams Family.
Jay’s creepy and he’s kooky…a house mysterious and spooky…he’s all together ooky…it’s Aaaa-jaaaay McLean… da da da da! Snap Snap…da da da da…snap snap…da da da da, da da da da, da da da da…snap snap… What? I think this would be a great theme song.
“Nick? Yo ya there…”
Oops. “Yeah I kissed her. Trace doesn’t know.”
“You wanna stay with Trace.”
He drummed his fingers against the chair he was in. The guy paints his fingernails black. Actually, he has them done. Manicures and pedicures. Telling ya, he ain’t normal. “Then don’t tell her. Why’d ya kiss this Cally then? She’s cute in that teddy bear way… not my type, and not yours either man.”
I shrugged. I still had no idea. “Seemed like a good idea at the time man.” Heh, true enough.
Reaching over to grab his tea, he sipped it thoughtfully. Back in the day it used to be a beer or a bottle of Jack Daniels. He used to actually have a dog named after the drink. Not anymore, since rehab, the Jay we used to know is back. Odd, a bit crazy, sex obsessed (what man isn’t), but pretty damn smart in some weird sense. AJ’s, well AJ’s hard to explain a lot of the time. But, what’s fun is to tease about the hair penis he has. Aight, I know that sounds weird. Crazy. Gay even. The man is balding after he dyed it every color of the rainbow and then some. And the hairline is weird. What hair is left, looks like a peen. I ain’t lying. He should just shave it off. I think he thinks if he does, he knows it ain’t coming back. Hehe, so it’s fun.
“So you snogged this girl and you have no idea why?”
Snogged? What the hell is snogged? Or snogging?! “I didn’t screw her man! What the fuck is snog? It means sex right?”
I hated when he laughed at my expense. It’s a good question! Do you know what snog means?! Didn’t think so. Okay so I’m asking my own brain this. Not the point! No one would know what snog meant!
“It‘s kissing. Dude, as much as we’re in Europe, you didn’t know that?”
Who the hell outside out of Europe would know snog? I mean, I bet half of them in Europe don’t even know it. So there. Guess its some European thing. Not that Europeans are different in a bad way. They aren’t. Snog is just a hella weird word that only AJ would use. Yep. That’s it.
“I knew that, just seeing if you knew man.” Uh huh. Yep, that’s believable right?
A snicker forced me to shoot a mini-glare at him. I’m good at those. “Serious man, you don’t know why?”
“If I knew why I wouldn’t be here trying to figure that out baldy.”
He tilted down the shades he wore to give me a Kevin look. A look I never thought could be duplicated with brown eyes. I always thought only green ones can look all reproachful and lecture type. Yes he wore his sunglasses in his house, when it’s just me and him. I told you, AJ is AJ. I like that about him actually. But shhhhh! He‘d never let me forget it if he knew. “Man, I think you know why. Hell date em both.”
Is he insane? “Are you fucking nuts?”
“Seems like you want both.”
“I don’t want both.”
“So why you all snoggy with another girl?”
“Didn’t you ask me this? Is snoggy a word?”
“I told you what snog meant.”
“Yes, snog. Not snoggy. You made that up.”
He smirked. “My ass is cooler and can do that.”
“Who made you king of ass coolness? You don’t even have an ass!”
“I do so have an ass, and it’s cooler than your dumb ass.”
“My ass is cool, not dumb. Yours is nonexistent.”
He laughed. “Ooh nonexistent, nice. Have you been staring at my ass to know? Nick, I thought you didn’t like backdoor. Don’t start trying to grab my ass now. My ass is cool and popular.”
I flipped him off, and of course he laughed more. Ass. “You don’t have an ass to grab, and no one would want to. That’s why you were born without one, to save us all.”
“That didn’t make sense.”
“In Nickopolis it did.”
“Nick-where?” He shook his head. “Never mind.”
“You haven’t helped at all man.” I rubbed the back of my neck. I need new band mates I think.
He laughed, rubbing the shinier part of his balding head. I am so glad I have hair. Never fall out! Okay hair? Never! “You expected me to?”
Again, duh. Did I say Jay was smart? Never mind.
“You’re shit outta luck man. Not to sound all cliché and shit, but the only one who can help with this snoggy situation is you or that Cally chick.”
Oh, gee thanks AJ. Really.
That night, I went back to the hotel, crawling in bed besides Tracy. She was already sleeping in the bed, naked and looking sexy as all hell. I didn’t say a word about what happened. It was nothing remember? Calypso and I decided that. Besides, one doesn’t think much about talking when that sexy redhead beside me wakes up and wants a little exercise in the bed. Sex burns 60 calories ya know. And it’s the best thing ever of course.
And fans on LiveDaily think I don’t watch my weight.