I love my best friend Isabel. I do. Mostly. Sometimes, when she knows me so well. Well then I want to choke her. Not hard, just enough to get the teasing to quit. She knew something was up. She kept up with trends far more than me too. Should I tell her? Would she believe me? She knew I wouldn’t lie though. And I did have the scribble Nick gave me last night with his home phone if he forgot to charge his cell. Last night. Yeah, that would SO not leave my head. Can you blame me?
I looked up from my couch. We were just chilling at my place. We were being lazy today. Hey now, I was up late last night, being stuck to Nick and all. He had ended up giving me a ride home by borrowing Brian’s truck. Saying he didn’t want me riding out at night. I didn’t see the issue, since I’ve done it so many times before. But he’s stubborn. So he took Brian’s keys and took me home. My bike wouldn’t have fit in his BMW. Yep, BMW. Jealous? Yes I am.
Then I saw her hand wave in front of my face. I laughed. “What what what!”
“Okay, something major is on your mind!”
“No…my life is boring remember?” I grabbed an orange and started peeling it. Nick made me promise to find time between school and work that worked with his schedule so we could hang again. Hehe. Wow. Too bad the man had a girlfriend. I’m being placed in that sister/friend role. Le sigh. Better than nothing though.
“SOMETHING is going on. Come on! Let me in on it here!” She pleaded, whacking me with a pillow playfully. I took a bite of my orange and considered this. I had to tell someone. Keeping it all inside was doomed to make me go insane. Well, maybe it was too late for that. So…insane-er.
“You wouldn’t even believe me if I told you.”
She gave me one of her flawless smiles. Yes I’m jealous of how pretty my friend is. She’s not perfect skinny yet she’s so cute and pretty. Unfairness at its best. She pushed her dark brown hair out of her face and bounced eagerly. “You won’t know till you spill!”
I laughed. “Okay you Jewish Mexican jumping bean.” I teased. Yeah, she’s Jewish, and Mexican. Odd combo, but that was Iz for ya. “You can’t tell a soul though.”
” I swear on all things blue and skittles!” I grinned. Izzy and I loved skittles, and the color blue. So that was our way of swearing a promise on something.
“Okay…remember that one day I was on the phone with you and suddenly hung up. And I told you later I had crashed my bike?”
She nodded, not getting where this was going. “Well I met this guy. And he’s pretty cool. Then I met his friend…” I’m leaving out who it really is for now. FAR less complicated. Besides, its not that I don’t trust Iz, its that I’m scared of it getting out. And its still somehow not fully real to me. My expression must have changed when I mentioned Nick though, cause Izzy jumped on it immediately.
“Oh my gosh, you’re totally diggin’ the guy’s friend aren’t you?!”
“You are! Does he like you back? Have you guys hung out a lot? Come on! Give me details!!” She exclaimed, jumping up from the couch. Her hair flying smoothly around her round angelic face.
“Whoa, whoa wow. Lemme tell you! Okay. We’ve talked on the phone a lot. And we hung out together the other night. I really like him.” I heard “Before He Cheats” come on the radio, Isabel loves country. Don’t ask me why. I can’t stand 99.999999999% of the stuff. But her new love is that American Idol girl Carrie Underwood. I do have to admit her song is good. Even though I can’t relate to it even a bit. I’d need a relationship history to be able to.
Me? Music wise I’m odd. I love old rock, Aerosmith, Rolling Stones, Journey, Bryan Adams. Then the oldies like Beach Boys, Beatles, Supremes, you name it. Mix that with current rock like Nirvana (well somewhat current, I did grow up in the 90’s), Evanescence, funkier rock like Panic! At the Disco. Then mix in Christina Aguilera, my guilty pleasure Justin Timberlake, Kelly Clarkson, and you had my music loves. Oh, yeah and while I’m thinking of music, Iz is having a very girly moment.
She was actually squealing with excitement for me. “Ooh does he like you back? I bet he does.”
“He has a girlfriend Iz.” I replied with a sigh. She’s been my friend for awhile now. She should know I never have luck in this department by now.
“Doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you!”
“It means I don’t stand a chance. He’s sweet, creative, deep, artistic, what would he see in a girl like me?”
“Calypso Lynn Rayne! Stop thinking that way! We need to think up ways for you to snag him!” She grinned at me, with a impish glint in her dark brown eyes.
“I’m not stealing a taken man. I don’t stand a chance anyway.”
“It’s not stealing if he wants it too.”
“How do you know if he wants it?”
She grinned, playing with my hair, which happened to be falling out of its scrunchie. My hair was thick, not nappy thick, but just there was a lot of that plain dark blond hair. I go through scrunchies like crazy, the wear out. She pulled out some hair ties from her own pocket, and started putting my hair in a French braid for something to do. “Now, how can he not?”
I raised a brow and glanced back at her. “You really want me to answer that?”
” He would. Besides girly, it doesn’t hurt to try. And you never know what he may be thinking…”
Why can’t I get my mind off of Calypso? Even as I was on the phone with Tracy, who was telling me she can come up tomorrow to see me again. Well that was fast. She sounded like it was a must to see me. Still haven’t told her about Cally, nothing to tell remember. I wonder if she has a hunch. Not that there’s anything to have a hunch about. Like a lot of the women who’ve been in my life, Trace is easily jealous. So maybe her overactive spidey jealous sense is tingling. Women have an odd ass intuition about these things. Heh. Might be why she’s coming up after leaving just a week ago. Its just that that girl wouldn’t leave my mind and kept shoving Trace out. After we talked while we were stuck, she really caught hold of my attention. She cared. She cared and she was shy, and she was honest. I never see that in my Hollywood glamour world of glitz, fame, loneliness and lies. It was interesting, and a great change. But it came at the wrong time. Didn’t it? I had a girl already. One I had fun with, although a bit clingy with that apartment issue. Cally though actually wanted to help me with what I wanted. Without some ulterior motive. No I had no damn clue for sure that there wasn’t one. But I could tell. Those damn blue eyes of hers were too open and I would have seen in them if she had one. I wonder what Trace would say on some of the things we talked about.
“It’ll be so great to see you again…Hehe, we can christen that new Cadillac of yours you said you got. We didn’t get the chance last time.”
I smirked. A man has his needs don’t he? “Sounds fun. Burn off some calories.”
“Can’t wait. God I hate this job, just wait till I’m a successful actress. Oh let me tell you this whole thing my boss is in a fucking tizzy about. All cause of the thing with the mail-”
“Hey Trace?” I said, interrupting her. Selfish as it was, I could care less if her boss had some scandal with the mail boy a few floors down. What the fuck does she do for a living anyway? I couldn’t tell you if you asked me.
“What would you say if I told you I was going to try and get my high school diploma?”
A laugh. A snarky laugh. Snarky is a term I stole from Cally. She said she made it up to mean cynical. And there she is in my head again. Dammit I almost had a new record. Almost a whole fucking minute.
“I’d ask why would you want to.”
“What do you mean?” Well that wasn’t something I wanted to hear. Damn.
“I mean you’re famous, you have all this money and a music career, why would you want to have to work so hard at getting a diploma you don’t need? Seems like a waste of time.”
“You think I couldn’t do it?”
“Not that you couldn’t, but that it wouldn’t be easy and you don’t have to do it.” Great. No faith.
“So you’re saying it’d be hard for me.”
“You didn’t finish for a reason right? You don’t have to. You’re successful without the book smarts baby.” I was right, no faith. Fuck that.
“I gotta go babe.”
“I didn’t upset you did I?”
“Nah, just have to go down and lay some vocals down at the studio.” I’m a great liar.
“Alright, love ya.” Ain’t it too early to be saying that? Shit.
“Bye Trace.” I hung up. I was fucking annoyed. Couldn’t help it.
I hate that people think I’m stupid. It’s not just her. My mother thought so too. That’s what she said when she stopped the tutors. That I “wasn’t going to get it no matter how many tutors I had so why bother to pay for it.” Nice vote of fucking confidence right. Fans think I’m an idiot cause of comments I’ve made in interviews over the years. I didn’t mean to. It’s not that I’m stupid. Its that damn ADHD that made it so I couldn’t pay attention so I gave wrong answers or weird ass ones. It was Kevin who realized my attention span was far too short to be normal and helped me find out why. I just hate being thought of that way though. Oh its Nick Carter. A pretty boy. Great voice, and pretty to look at, but nothing in the head. Shit I see comments like that all the damn time. On message boards, our official site and board, fan sites, tabloids. (Yes I visit fan boards. I get bored on the bus during tours and entertain myself with my laptop dammit.) I shouldn’t care after being in this harsh biz for so damn long, but sometimes, I do.
Even my brother Aaron called me dumb. I worried about him. Where our mother was leading him in this cruel famous world my family was consumed with. But I couldn’t do a single thing about it. So I tried not to think about it. Cally, the first person outside the fellas to call me smart. I should call her. We can chill out at The Grove. I bet she hasn’t been there and it’d be cool to show her. And there’s this kick ass restaurant there who loves me and gets me good tables. Fuck being a good boyfriend. I’m calling her. But as a friend.
But before I could my phone vibrated. I checked the id. AJ. Ehhh did I want to answer? My luck, I don’t and then Kevin calls wondering why I’m not at the meeting AJ was supposed to call about. I picked up.
“Nick’s house of pleasure…”
I heard him snicker. “Wouldn’t go that far.”
“I’m bored, and B told me the most fucking fascinating story. I miss something last night by not babysitting” He sneezed.
I had a silent groan. Brian was my best friend. He didn’t tell AJ. He wouldn’t. “Not really…”
“Shiiit, in my world being stuck with a girl on top of you is something.” A snicker. “Unless you’re starting to go the backdoor entrance with some more manly partners.”
“Man quit, it was nothing. I’m dating Trace remember.”
“Bout as serious as I’m dating Candy.”
“She ain’t my type man. Cally’s just a friend I made through Rok.” That much was true. I swear. She ain’t my type at all. Exact fucking opposite. Maybe that’s why she’s interesting.
“I have to meet this chick you and Rok’s told me ‘bout.”
I smirked. “Why so you can scare her away? She’s too young for ya Jay.”
“Sounds like some little blond is getting defensive… I think ya like her bro.”
“Who ya calling little…I’m taller. And she’s just a friend man, just a friend.” That was it. And it wouldn’t develop into more.
To be honest, if I liked her at all, I’d be protecting her by doing that.
Why? Fucking simple. She’s far too good for the likes of Nick Carter.
And here’s one of those moments I wanna choke Izzy. Now I must hear all these tips on how to steal…I mean snag a man. Lordie. I love her but yeah. I sipped my apple juice calmly as I half listened to her, half listened to the music playing. I had changed the station and Usher was currently playing. Love his songs, I felt like dancing to it. How could you not wanna dance to “Yeah”. But I didn’t. I dance only when the house is empty. Way too embarrassing to let anyone see. And then the phone rang and I half danced to the phone. Iz laughed.
“I haven’t had my caffeine fix yet.”
“Nah, you’re on a guy high.”
I stuck my tongue out at her before picking up a phone as I did my version of the Michael Jackson spin. Which by the way, isn’t all that spiffy.
“Hello!” I answered as I half bopped. Correction, most I ever do is half dance. And only in front of people I trust.
“Hey its Nick…” A pause, and then he snickered. “What’s that I’m hearing in the background about booty smacking?”
I laughed and grinned as I tried to hide in the kitchen. I love my Izzy, but Lordie I know its not a good idea for her to realize I’m talking to “the guy” as she puts it. “Shush, just music, what’s up?”
I could hear Isabel from what I thought was across the room. “Chica!? Is that who I think it is?”
I heard him laugh again. I love that laugh. “Who is that?”
“My friend Izzy, ignore her. So what’s up?”
Err no. Didn’t I tell him about my lack of a life? “Not especially.” Then I again heard the line about “enough to make the booty go smack” and as I did, my butt got smacked, hard! Ow that hurt! I squealed.
“IZZZY! Why you smacking my booty?!” I pouted and gave her a look. She just laughed and bounced off to dance to “Sexyback” which happened to be the next song that came on. Ahh, I like Timberlake’s music.
“Okay, I’m missing out now.” I heard him say laughing, reminding me I was on the phone. “So you think I can come by, and we can go somewhere and chill?”
“Sure, two-ish cool?” Oh my god. Wow. This was almost like a date. And it was the almost that killed me. I said two-ish cause then I knew Iz had to work.
“Hell yeah. I’ll see ya then Cally Baby.” Click. And then the dial tone. Hehe. Wow.
Wait, did he just call me Cally Baby?